Grabby Graberson!

Charlotte has begun to explore her world with her hands! She is so much fun to watch.  She grabs everything.  She has been trying to put everything she grabs into her mouth, but is only successful half the time at this point.  It is so much fun to watch her explore her world and discover new things.  She has recently discovered her feet and reaches for them often.  One of her favorite things to grab is her clothes.  She loves when I dress her in clothes that have appliques, ruffles, buttons or other different feeling things on them.  Whatever she is around she feels with her hands.  I have been giving her all sorts of new toys and things with different textures to explore.  She really likes foil haha.  Everyday this little person amazes me.  I am so lucky to be her mom and watch her grow everyday. 

Breastfeeding Woes.

I hate movies, and I hate T.V. shows.  They give such distorted pictures of everything.  They always have these cute babies that just attach themselves and are great little feeders without any trouble and mom and baby are happy and life is great.  Well no one told me that in real life that doesn't happen with every baby and mother. 

Charlotte came out and as everyone knows was just a tiny peanut at five pounds six ounces.  She had a tiny mouth and was tongue tied.  Breastfeeding SUCKS.  It has gotten much better but its still not a piece of cake the tv shows and movies make it out to be. 

Charlotte had a really hard time latching.  In the hospital the lactation consultants gave me all different tricks, including a nipple shield and a little device where a syringe with formula is hooked up to a little cord that goes into her mouth so I can pump it in while she eats so she is rewarded.  These things helped her to be able to eat, but complicated everything.  I had so many things to wash and to use, which makes Charlotte NOT a portable baby. 

Luckily she just needed the nipple shield once we got home.  She was able to wean off of that on one breast and finally the other (been off for two and a half weeks now!) So we are moving along.  But it was very frustrating and A LOT of work on my part.  It was easy for me to understand why so many women give it up.  If you have a crappy latcher, it is uncomfortable, inconvenient and time consuming.  I know breast milk is best so I kept working at it and working at it.  Luckily she gets better at it everyday and luckily I did not give up (it was very tempting).  Now my concern is what will happen when I go back to work in two weeks? I plan to pump, but am afraid with her getting bottles at daycare and such she will again have difficulty latching in the evenings when she is at home with me.  I am hopeful that it goes well and that I find the strength to stick with pumping so that she can get the best nutrition possible!

Baby at the movie theater?

Well, Charlotte is TEN weeks old! Where did the time go?! Soon I'll be telling everyone that she is sixteen and has crashed the car or something! This evening I decided to take Charlotte to the movies with me and Amanda.  I know that people have differing opinions on whether or not you should take an infant to the movies, but we saw a kids movie at matinee time, so I thought it would be appropriate. 

Charlotte did really well overall.  She got fussy once, but just needed to be fed.  It was fun, but I wouldn't take her to any adult movies unless it was like a Sunday morning or early afternoon type thing.  Otherwise, Ill just stick with kids movies.  Parents in kids movies are less judgy.  It was nice to get out of the house and mingle with others.  Charlotte will definitely be a social butterfly, she loves going out of the house and interacting with other people.  She especially loves other babies and kids.  She loves to watch them, so I am working on making her some new friends.  The movie trip would not have been possible without the Moby Wrap.  Another great baby invention.  She loves that thing, and I love not having to lug a carseat or stroller around!

Life has definitely changed in the last two and a half months and this was another reminder.  Although the changes have been great because this little lady is the most amazing thing I have ever done in my entire life, it has its frustrating moments.  I really think being a mother would be a lot easier if I had four hands instead of two.  I think the human generation should have evolved over time to make this happen. 

FYI We saw Paranorman and it was adorable!

How is she sleeping?

This question drives me nuts.  Everywhere I go, every mother asks, is she sleeping through the night yet? I want to punch them all in the face.  She is not sleeping through the night.  The last time I slept for more then three hours at a time was on June 12th.  And if you ask any of my friends at work, No Sleep Jessica, isn't very fun.  The good news is that I can laze around and rest during the day when she naps.  When I go back to work its gonna be so sucky.

Yesterday Lotte went to the doctors.  She is doing great growth wise.  She is still very small for her age at nine weeks she is only seven pounds thirteen ounces.  A lot of babies are this size or bigger when they are born.  The good news is that the doctor isn't concerned with the weight, just the rate of growth and that is apparently going great.  He said she looks great and that I am doing a good job (which made me feel better). 

The doctor of course asked how she was sleeping, apparently babies are her age should be able to sleep for five or six hour stretches.  He explained that because she is the size of a newborn, she will be on the same sleep schedule as a newborn.  Which explains why she still wakes up every two and half to three hours.  Apparently as long as her size small she will likely stay behind with the sleeping and eating.  LAME.  The good news is most of the time I enjoy the extra cuddle time.  I do miss sleep, and hope that once work starts I get a little relief in the middle of the night.  Fingers Crossed!

Why do babies have such long fingernails?

Life with a newborn has been hard and great at the same time.  It is quite weird being responsible for another human life 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  The three times I have been out of the house without her have been fun and scary at the same time. 

Going to work in a few weeks is going to be really weird.  Basically since June 14th this baby has been attached to my hip.  Sometimes I miss the hospital.  After being there a week, I got used to being able to call someone to watch the baby so I could shower or eat.  There are days when I love having her all to myself all day, and there are days when I would pay someone a million dollars to watch her so I can have sometime to myself. 

The older she gets the easier it has been to do things.  I am now able to usually have fifteen minutes each day to shower.  She is now content laying by herself while I shower.  This has been a lifesaver.  Her snug a bunny swing is also a lifesaver.  All new parents should by one.  This swing allows me to complete the daily household chores, like the dishes, sweeping and laundry.  (How does such a tiny person, create such a large amount of laundry?!) We have sort of a routine down now.  I still struggle with eating.  It is insanely hard to cook and sit down and eat when you have a baby that needs you all the time.  I have become good at eating with one hand, even though I occasionally drop food on her while eating lol

On Thursday I took her to visit her daycare.  It sucked.  Well, Charlotte did fine and smiled at the daycare lady and it was nice and looks like a great place for her, but it made it so real.  I will miss her so much when I go back to work.  I am not ready.  I had been planning to find a part time job in the fall ever since she was in my tummy, however life changes no longer allow me to do so and I feel so cheated.  I am terrified that I will miss her first words, or her first steps.  I am also worried about how I will be able to get as much time with her as possible when I go back to work.  I am afraid I will be missing out on things because I will still need to complete household chores and will be extra tired from working, but I am convinced that I can handle it.  A new baby was terrifying and challenging, but I figured it out and made it work.  I am confident that I can do the same now. 

Why do babies have such long fingernails? To make my life miserable.  Why does she feel the need to scratch me while she eats, and how come they grow back so quickly after I file them? And why am I too scared to cut them?

Love this Face :)

Meeting Milestones?

Charlotte continues to grow at alarming rates! Everyday she does something new that amazes me.  I am truly blessed to be her mother and fortunate enough to be able to watch her grow everyday.  She has been smiling socially now which is AMAZING.  Every time this little lady smiles at me, I can't help but be amazing happy, no matter what else is going on, and I definitely need that. 

Charlotte is currently in the stage where she has discovered her hands and her mouth. She also discovered her feet for the first time the other day. It was HILARIOUS. She looked so surprised that she had her foot in her hand. She also put her toy in her mouth by herself for the first time! I took her to a baby boosters program at the local library on Wednesday.  She loves meeting other babies (well at least she loves staring at their faces) and she met a great baby whose mother told me her baby was 3 months before she grabbed her feet.  So it seems Charlotte is doing well, Harvard here we come!

Well I guess it is because before I had this baby I wrote literally hundreds of psychosocial assessments, that now I think in assessment form for Charlotte.  There is one section with the heading "developmental history".  This is the section I always think about it.  I had always hoped under Charlottes it would say "Charlotte was born vaginally following an unremarkable pregnancy at term.  Her developmental milestones were normal".  Well, so far hers will read "Charlotte was born via emergency Cesarean section when it was discovered she was breach following a pregnancy complicated by pre-eclampsia....." I am confident that it will be able to read she met her milestones on time or early, but either way it doesn't matter.  This is Charlottes story, and it although it had a rocky start, I know she will have an amazing life.

Look at me! I can eat my toys now :)

Conquering Errands

Life with a newborn is hard.  At least I think so.  Errands aren't what they used to be for sure.  I used to be able to run into Rite Aid without thinking about it and pick up whatever I needed.  Likewise I used to be able to linger in target and then hit up other stores in the shopping center if I was so inclined.  Having an infant and doing either of those things is impossible. 

Quick trips are no more! It is impossible to run into a store to pick things up.  When I had a cold and all I needed was cough drops, a trip that would normally take fifteen minutes, including travel time, took forever.  You have to pack the baby up, drive there, and you can't leave a baby in a car when you run in, so you have to carry around the stupid uncomfortable to carry car seat thing with you in the store and you no longer have a purse, you have a giant diaper bag you are also lugging around with you.  It sucks. During the summer heatwave and power outage, Adam was stuck working in his hot sweaty building with no power Charlotte & I took him a slurpee.  TERRIBLE IDEA! Getting a slurpee while having to carry around that stupid carseat sucked. AND I could not get a much desired slurpee for myself, because there was no way I could carry two slurpees and a carseat.  Gone are the days of anything being easy.

This problem with leisurely browsing stores until I have had my fill? This baby needs to eat on average every three hours, sometimes she goes less time between feedings and needs her diaper changed even more often (I don't know if it is just my baby, but I feel like she is always pooping or peeing, like every ten minutes).  So you have to time your shopping trips just right.  Another problem is that the stupid carseat thing does not fit onto most carts as well as it should.  Some are better then others, Target isn't too bad, and some are terrible fits (Wegmans I'm looking at you!) And then there are stores without carts all together (Kohl's you should fix this!) Those stores are the worst because you again have to carry the stupid carseat around (or the baby which is worse).  Gone are my days of enjoying a shopping trip for as long as a like. 

I see lots of moms carrying their babies around the stores in their baby carriers like their baby bjorns and ergos.  This seems like the best option.  I even have a baby bjorn.  My problem? The carrier says from newborn - 3 years old.  They define "newborn" as eight lbs, and it says it is not recommended for infants under eight pounds! Well, Charlotte is two months old and only 7 pounds! I am excited that I am getting closer to being able to use the carrier.  I feel like it will help me with my errands and being out and about.

Today while I had to go to Target to get ANOTHER prescription and I tried a new method, I took the snap and go! The main reason I did this was because I fell down the stairs on vacation (while carrying Charlotte, which is a scary crazy story in and of itself!) and am sore on one side of my body and had no desire to carry her in her car seat from the parking lot to the store to get to a cart.  I already carried her up and down stairs at my doctors office because the stupid elevator was broken.  ANYWAY! The snap and go worked much better then a cart.  It was easier to maneuver through aisles and the car seat was obviously steady on it.  The biggest problem was not having cart space.  The snap and go does have a large basket underneath that I used to hold stuff, but the diapers barely fit.  All in all, I have decided that the snap and go is an amazing invention, especially if you have a tiny baby like me.  The best part is that it is so so easy to open and fold again.  Another con of it it though is I don't think it is made for tall people like myself, I had to adjust the handle to make it as tall as possible and I still feel a little awkward pushing it.  But I think it is an essential product for any new mom. 

Chillin in my Snap & Go!

Charlotte's FIRST vacation!

Charlotte joined me and my family at Smith Mountain Lake in Virginia for her FIRST vacation! Taking a baby on vacation is a lot harder then expected.  Charlotte has so much stuff and even though the car was packed to the max, there was still stuff I forgot. 

Overall Charlotte did really.  No major incidents.  It was nice having my family around to help out too.  With my mom and sister there I was able to take more then five minute showers whenever I wanted and was able to eat three meals a day again!

The lake was beautiful and the house was right on the water.  I am so happy that I was able to take Charlotte.  We did lots of fun things, and I even was able to try paddleboarding, which may be my new hobby! We played lots of games, did a puzzle (which I haven't done in forever!), did lots of swimming (which Dexter loved), checked out a local creamery that made their own ice cream and had a lot family time. 

It was great to check out of the real world for a little while after the crazyness that has been going on.  With every "first" that Charlotte has I become more and more excited for her future.  I am hopeful that she will be have a wonderful and bright future.  I hope that I am able to give Charlotte many more fun vacations as she gets older.  I will post pictures later this week so everyone can see how awesome she looks in her bikini!

Sick Baby

I don't think that anyone fully prepares a first time mom for what it feels like when your baby is sick.  Charlotte was only three weeks old when she got her first cold.  First I had a cold, then Adam got it from me and then of course Charlotte got a cold.  Her nose was so stuffy and she was having trouble breathing, no fever thank goodness.  I took her to the doctor which was actually scary and hard in and of itself. 

The C-Section made everything MORE difficult and painful.  First, it is really hard to get out of the house on time with a newborn, I imagine this task will become more difficult when she gets older and can scoot and walk away from me.  Three weeks after having major surgery makes it hard to carry things and walk up stairs. 

Of course her doctor is on the second floor, and the elevator was broken.  Why is it SO HARD to carry those stupid car seat things?! I feel like after all this time they could have invented a better way. 

Basically, by the time I get to the doctor's I am having a nervous breakdown.  I have been up for hours with a fussy sick baby, I'm afraid something is seriously wrong and have imagined every possible illness and now I m in physical pain.  Anyway, she of course just had a simple cold and I had to give her saline spray and suction out her nose frequently.  But it was so scary.  I had no idea what to do, and I hated to know that she was uncomfortable. 

The second time she was sick involved projectile vomitting, and that was much harder.  Two days ago, poor baby was fussy ALL day, constantly crying, especially if I put her down and constantly spitting up milk.  She & I went over to visit her GG so that I could get out of the house and have some help with the baby.

While at GG's Charlotte began to projectile vomit.  Little did I know a baby so small could do so much.  We were both laying in GG's bed attempting to nap, and I was awoken by the sound and woke to see a stream of milk shooting UP and then back down all over her crying face.  I SCREAMED until my mom came to my rescue. 

This went on for hours.  Finally her tummy was able to be settled and she was able to sleep. 

This was the scariest moment of my life.  My poor baby looked like she was in so much pain and there was NOTHING I could do to help her.  It was awful.  She is doing much better and is her adorable self, but I can not describe how scary it was to see your own child in distress. 

This does not bode well for my future.  I hope that seeing your child sick or hurt gets easier, I know she will have colds and flus and chicken pox.  I know that boys will break her heart and she will cry and she will fight with her friends and need someone to listen, I know people will let her down and disapoint her, but everytime she cries or hurts, my heart breaks.  I really hope it gets easier. 

I love this little peanut!