I. Am. Awesome!!!

What a shitty shitty day it has been! First getting to the car this morning was a disaster, I had so much stuff to carry and Charlotte, and I got stuck on the door and fell down, I purposely dropped to me knees because I was holding Charlotte and didn't want to fall forward or backward with her in my arms! I thought I was fine but then as I was driving to work I realized I was bleeding on my work pants...oooops.

A bunch of other crap also happened today, That just had me feeling down and like I was not good enough/not doing a good job. It is tough being alone when you get no sleep and things get messed up. You don't have a partnership or anyone to rely on, it's just you. This is new for me, I thought I would always have that other person to be there for me when I needed them, to support me emotionally, so I am learning to be strong on my own.

Anyway, I got home and all my neighbors had mowed lawns. I've been wanting mine mowed for awhile, it looks like a jungle back there, some of the grasses were so tall! Well I've had no luck getting it taken care of, so I tried to take matters in my own hand....

FIRST I've. Never mowed a lawn in my life SECOND I don't own a law mower.

I borrowed a weed wacker from my mom. I have a small backyard and have seen Adam do it before, it looked fairly easy.

WRONG! I literally had no idea how to start the damn thing! A half hour of trying to start the weed thing I had no success.

Thank god for my neighbor! (Have I mentioned I loved my neighborhood?, I'm so hopeful lotte and I can stay in this house a little longer!) he came over to show me how to start it!

Luckily it wasn't my fault (I should mention I googled the owners manual so I did have an idea of what to do, I also watched a YouTube video!) the choke wasn't catchin right...look at me, I know what a choke is!!

Anyway he helped me get it going and I weed wacked the backyard! I feel so accomplished!!! I am so freaking awesome!!

It was harder than I thought due to the length of grass, my arms are extremely tired and I was covered in grass, like literally I have grass stains on my legs. But I cut my lawn! It made me feel amazing and capable. I am awesome!!!

However, I remembered why I have never mowed before...allergies!! It was so bad I could barely breathe! I wanted to take some benedryl, but it knocks me out and I can't do that when I'm listening for the monitor all night!

I felt less accomplished after I finished and came in bc Charlotte was displeased when I tried to put away her clothes with a flashlight while she was sleeping! Disaster! Have you ever tried to put away laundry with a ten month old? All she likes to Sonia throw things across the room, folding is futile. Although I sort of sucked tonight and didn't get the laundry finished I still rock and anyone else who says other way can........

Supermom did also fail because I can only get my daughter to sleep for an hour at a time which causes me to be exhausted.

I'm doing my best to raise my daughter & give her a happy life, I hope I am succeeding and ill sleep when she goes to college :)

Due to the utter exhaustion and terrible allergies I hope I never have to mow the lawn again but I'm happy to know that if I do need to I can do it!