My first week on call since Lotte has been born. Tomorrow I give this phone of doom away. I can't wait. It has been awful. I hate knowing that I could be spending time with Charlotte and instead am stuck working. The good news is we survived. It has been hard, but we did it. Getting a call in the middle of the night is scary. It used to not be that terrible, more of an annoyance. But now that It's just me and Lotte I have to plan to have someone watch her, and no one other then me really knows her middle of the night routine, even my mom has trouble getting her to sleep in her crib. I have mastered the transfer haha. It was hard, and I am happy that tomorrow it will be over. Last night in the middle of the night when I had to leave she was crying. It was really hard. I never in my life felt heartbreak like I did last night. It is not fun leaving your baby that wants you to stay. It made me feel like a bad mom and of course after working all night I was exhausted today. Then my really nice hair straightener broke. It was the last straw. I had a nervous breakdown. When things are going wrong and I'm sick or upset or tired or sad, I like knowing that at least my hair looks good. It makes me feel better. I know its silly, but it's true. I guess it is one of the things I used to be able to control, and now I can't even control that. LAME!
Like I said, the good news is that we survived! Lotte was of course just fine without me, I made it through a few hours of work and took a nap to regroup and am ready to face the world again, to bad my hair will still look like crap lol. Tonight Lotte and worked on her Halloween cards. I have so much fun doing crafts with her. She is hilarious and just loves to interact with people. I am so lucky that she is such a happy baby (when it's not bed time anyway haha). Lotte and I have such a fun weekend planned I can't wait for this work week to be over. We have two Halloween parties on Friday and a neighborhood pumpkin carving party on Sunday and her uncle's birthday brunch at one of my favorite places ever, Ms. Shirley's on Saturday morning!
Here is preview of Lotte's Halloween card! It's a phone photo, so just ignore the crappyness of it haha
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