Life with Charlotte: Holden is here!

My nephew and Charlotte's cousin, Holden has arrived! Jenna endured over thirty six hours of labor, but he is here, safe and sound and perfect. Jenna and Holden are doing great! Charlotte even got to visit her cousin already.

Seeing Holden at the hospital with Jenna brought back so many memories. I can't believe it was twenty two weeks ago that I was in there with my little peanut. I have already started packing up some of the clothes that are now too small or her. It is heartbreaking and amazing wonderful at the same time.

I know that I will never get this time back with her and that's why it is so hard. I want to treasure every baby cuddle and snuggle. I still can not believe how big she is getting! She is already over twelve pounds! Seeing Jenna and Andrew with Holden brought back so many memories. It is really funny how much life has changed.

This is never how I pictured things, being on my own with Lotte and being her primary caretaker, but the love I have for her is more then I ever imagined. It's so weird. Every day that passes I love her more and more and get so excited to see what new thing she will do or what new sound she will learn. She is amazing. Although sometimes it is pretty sucky being on my own, life is more amazing then I imagined. I am not ready for her to grow up, and every single time I do her laundry I shed a tear or two because I know she will never be this small again, but I am looking forward to watching her grow up and shaping her into the amazing woman I know she will be. I will treasure these moments and baby snuggles for the rest of my life.

I am also excited that she has a cousin so close in age. I know that they will be great friends and allies. They will have an understanding of this crazy family that a legit family can know. They will be together for birthdays and holidays and family vacations. It is such a blessing that she will have someone she can grow up with.

It's still November. This week I am thankful for the safe arrival of Holden, being able to go out with my amazing friends (although I missed Lotte immensely, it was great to get out of the house for a few hours with a great support network of people who know the real me and still love me), still thankful for GG, she made my favorite dinner this week and always helps with Lotte when I need it, she even let me take a nap in her bed while she watched Lotte pants, a flexible job that allows me to take Lotte to baby boosters on Tuesdays (always fun to have quality time with her) and leave when I need to take care of business, hot chocolate, Costco chicken bakes and of course every minute I get to spend with the amazing Lotte!

She did it!!! Holden is Here!!