One of the things I am learning about having a baby is nothing is simple anymore. I can't just grab and go like I used to. I now have to make sure everything is packed for her, just in case she needs something. I no longer am able to get myself ready the way I would like to anymore. That is probably the most frustrating part of it all. I have no time to myself to do my hair or make up the way I would like. And most of the time we are running late, because of last minute diaper changes and things. This does not bode well for my future of getting to work on time. But I guess I will have to make it work.
Today was bittersweet for so many reasons. It was great to spend the day with the little one doing something fun. But I know it is one of the last weekdays Lotte and I can linger and do what we want at our own pace. From now on I will have to rush in the mornings to get her to daycare and get to work on time. I will miss our leisurely mornings. Weekday holidays will now mean so much more to me then the have in the past when I was just excited not to have to work. It was also hard because I always envisioned her first day trip to the zoo as something we would have done as a family. There were three times when it hit me that I have to start getting used to doing things just me and Lotte.
This first incident occurred when the front wheel of her stroller FELL OFF! I heard it squeaking and was wondered if it was tightened right...it was not. So here I am walking around when the front wheel just popped off. Luckily I was able to tilt her back on the bottom two wheels until I could sit down to try and fix it. Fixing a wheel while holding a baby was not easy nor fun. Would have been a great job for a husband.
The second incident occurred when she was fussing. I took her out to hold her which instantly calmed her down, but now I had to hold her while pushing a stroller and holding a diaper bag. A giant diaper bag I might add, to hold all the items I had to pack for her first day trip. Would have been amazing to have an extra set of hands.
The third and final incident occurred at the zebra enclosure. I was holding her and a zebra got really close to the glass. Lotte's eyes got SO BIG! It was one of the cutest things I have ever seen. I love to watch her explore the world and discover new things. She had a big smile on her face with her wide eyes. It was amazing. This was one of the things I wish someone was around to share in the joy of watching this amazing little girl.
All in all it was a great day. Everyday I get a little stronger and have began to work on healing my heart. I am lucky that I get to call myself her mother and experience these fun things with her. Although everything takes extra effort with her, it is worth it. It is so much fun! I can't wait to see where Lotte and I go next.
Big Girl using her stroller without the car seat attached (she is asleep in the picture, but she LOVED facing out instead of facing me haha):
This was probably her favorite thing, a giant mirror for her to watch herself and she loved the monkey:
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