Restless nights

So I am blogging to you at 3:00 am. What a time to start the day lol, Charlotte is up playing already! Charlotte is eight months old and still having sleep trouble. For awhile there things were great she was sleeping from 12-4:30 every night! It was amazing!!!

Well then she got too smart for her own good! She learned to stand up in her crib. Her mattress was high and I did not feel safe with her in there because she was leaning over so much it was only a matter of time before she fell right out. Anyway I didn't have to the tools to lower it right away so I had to wait until Adam had time to bring over his tools and work on it. Well in the meantime she slept in the pack and play and I feel like her sleep has been thrown off since then.

So the main problem I have is: it appears she doesn't want to sleep...at all...ever.

Basic routine is food, bath, book, cuddles, bed. She has been refusing sleep in her crib, she screams and screams and screams like she is being murdered if she is laid down in there. It kills me every time, but I continue on with sleep training, in fact the other night I ended up falling asleep in the rocker next to her bed and slept there for the three hours lotte slept, boy did my back hurt lol. It has been getting harder and harder to get her to sleep, tonight she did not fall asleep in her crib until after midnight and she awoke at two am screaming.

Tonight was esp horribly, she just did not want to go to sleep she kept moving around and climbing and then screaming and fussing when she was put in her crib to sleep. She is hard to settle down at night, we usually do some cuddles and stories and quiet time to settle down and that usually is very helpful as a wind down period but lately it just amps her up even more. She wants to play and laugh and crawl and pull down everything on every shelf lol, which is fine just not at ten pm when it's time for bed lol.

So basically I have no idea what to do next. I am looking for any sage advice, wisdom, tips, tricks, ideas!!!

First let me say I have not and will not use the cry it out method. A) I have read many articles about leaving a baby in a crib to cry and attachment as well as several studies regarding the toxic stress from it and the life long neurological effects on the baby including long term developmental delays from the amount of cortisol released B) Every pediatrician she has been to, does not recommend the pure cry it out method and C) I think it is mean.

I think crying it out could work for kids who can cry it out and go to sleep quickly, this kid can cry and cry for hours at a time without falling asleep.

What I have been trying is letting her cry but leaving for small increments. She still knows I'm there, I pat her, sit by her crib etc, singing to her really helps and then I wean her off the amount of time I give her. That is what used to be working but it is failing me. I feel like I shouldn't be spending over two hours getting her to close her eyes.

Things Im doing include: ensuring no naps after 4:00pm, making sure she has a full tummy before bed, comfortable pajamas(she actually prefers just sleeping in a diaper so we've been doing that)

My biggest concern is about leaving her alone in the room while she's screaming, even though the crib is lowered she can still stand up, and she moves around a lot while crying, once she stuck her leg through the slats and I had to unstick it for her.

I got the breathable bumpers for the crib because I know the others are dangerous but she learned how to remove them and use them for support in standing up so those had to go.

I don't have a video monitor so I worry about her hurting herself when I'm not in there and she's throwing her tantrums. Also she really sleeps better without Jammie's and just a diaper, it has been so helpful, but now my amazingly smart human learned how to take her diaper off, which she does frequently and she thinks is hilarious, lol!

So those are my concerns, she's amped up, just wants to play and climb and play and hang out! (Also FYI, she will rarely do this in her crib til she falls asleep when I'm not in the room. As soon as I sit her in that crib the wailing begins)

Any advice or thoughts or tips and tricks would be appreciated. I feel like a horrible horrible mom. I try so hard and I'm getting no where and like I said the middle of the nights are the loneliest and hardest. It's just me and Lots so I want to make it work, she needs her rest and I'm a much better mom when I get more then a few hours sleep lol!

Message me, email me, text me! Also as a side note, Lotte went to the docs on Monday, she is fine but has a little cold but is otherwise fine. I am keeping a detailed food/poop log for the doctor to see if there is a possible allergy or irritation!

Sorry for all the venting, but this sleep thing has been a hard road for us! I love this little girl more then life itself, so I don't want ppl to think otherwise, I'm just frustrated for her about the sleeping, I know she gets tired, she is extra fussy when tired lol! Like I said all help is welcome, I love my little one and I just want her to be able to get a good nights rest!