Anxiety!

Tomorrow is the big day.  I leave my amazing little person and head back to work.  Being a stay at home mom has been amazing.  I will miss it immensely.  I spent the last weekend getting as many cuddles that I could possibly get in.  Right now, Charlotte is easily soothed by me, I know she knows who I am and I like that my presence can comfort her.  I like that she is happy to see me. 

I have so many emotions right now it is hard to contain them.  I am a little excited to go back to work.  I enjoy what I do, I just wish I could afford to do it part time.  It will be nice to get into a regular routine.  I have so much anxiety it is oozing out of every pore.  I have no idea how she will adjust to daycare.  I am hopeful she will do well there.  I hope that she is safe and taken care of.  I am terrified that she will not know me as well as she knows me now, and that I will not know her as well as I do now. 

I've learned every cry and every expression.  I know what she needs and how to comfort her.  I do not want work to get in the way of me being the best mom possible.  I will miss her so much.  I have no idea how I will be able to complete my job duties with her on my mind all day.  I know people do this everyday, but I am still terrified and anxious and feeling like a shitty person for leaving my child at daycare. ARGH! I hope it gets easier.